This amusing monologue was written by the psychic author and clairvoyant John G. Sutton about an interesting encounter he experienced whilst attempting to fathom out the construction of some ‘Flat-Pack’ furniture. It is an almost true story that anyone who has ever destroyed any self assembly furniture will undoubtedly relate to. It is written is a slightly colloquial language based on the dialect of deepest Lancashire UK the home of the poet.
FLAT PACK by John G. Sutton Wife wanted some new stuff in’t bedroom In’t showroom it looked proper gradely The salesman was really quite helpful It were then that I knew the expression ‘Your goods are all sealed in a flat pack’ So we get this flat pack ‘t motor At home with me fingers all bleeding But my troubles had not even started The instructions were written in English I counted the nuts and the widgets The missus she stood there arms folded Me glasses they soon got steamed up like The drill holes in side ‘A’ were missing There were bits here and theer on the carpet In the end I could take it no longer Then I went to t’ best shop in ‘t city We’ve geet that new stuff in our bedroom |
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