DOUBLE GLAZING BLUES
John G. Sutton
I was sitting in my living room
Watching the telly
With my wife
Drinking tea
Scratching the dog’s belly
When a ‘Rat-Tat-Tat’
Called me to the door
Can’t seem to get peace anymore
I slipped back the catch
What did I see?
A double-glazing salesman
Staring in at me
‘We are in your area’
Was his opening line
He wore a neat dark suit
And a smile like slime
He was carrying a window
An elaborate affair
Conducting a survey for God knows where
He could save me money!
It was really amazing
All I had to do
Was buy his double-glazing
He talked of the beauty of UPVC
Said he had a special offer
It was just for me
I said I didn’t want it
He was having none of that
Said he’d come back tomorrow
We could have a little chat
Now I was sitting in my living room
Stroking our cat
When that double-glazing salesman
Returned for this chat
But the patron saint of peddlers
Left him to his fate
And there’s a double-glazing salesman
Hanging from our gate.
(c) John G. Sutton 1995