Mr. Gadgets

By

John G. Sutton

 

                                  There’s a nutter living next door to me

                               Fixated on gadgets, men’s toys

He owns just about all there is to own

And with these makes a terrible noise

 

Each Sunday morning he’s blasting the leaves

With a blower of tornado power

 Then he starts up and revs the two stroke machine

Of his sit on and drive lawn mower

 

He follows this up with a squirting device

That shoots gallons of pressurised swill

It sounds like the lid has come off of hell

As he drenches the floor at his will

 

Then he heats up a thing that blasts out steam

It bubbles and gurgles and pops

He’s cleaning the world with these gadgets

And I just wish he would stop

 

He uses a chain saw that roars as it rips

Through anything he thinks  fit

Last week it chomped his table in half

His furniture’s all sliced in bits

 

The grinding machine he got started

Then dropped it with throttle full on

He’s now got two toes missing

And half of his right foot has gone

 

                                     His hedge trimmer rumbles like thunder

The sanding machine grinds away

He’s at it from dawn till midnight

Each and every bloody  Sunday

 

I really despair of this nut-case

    With a gadget for this and for that

And it’s all a waste of time really

As he lives in a fourteenth floor flat!

 

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