ARE WE BOTHERIN’ ?
By
John G. Sutton
I’ve been wedded o’er foty years
To ‘t same woman, me wife
She calls me not fit fot’ burn
But her still is in me life
Her cooks me grub
And washes cloythes
She makes our home reet gradely
But when it comes to makin’ love
Her alus says ‘Ey……….maybe’
These days I get no leg-over
She doesn’t want to know
Her looks at me as if I’m daft
When I reaches out me paw
An’ if I ask ‘are we botherin’?’
T’answers alus NO!
I’m gerrin’ reet frustrated
Livin’ like a monk
And her, she sits and knits away
So I goes and gets reet drunk
But t’other neet I geet a freet
I’d just geet whoam from’t pub
Her pulls off me owd flat ‘at
An’ me back she starts fot’ rub
‘By Gum! tha’ looks a proper mon’
She whispers in me ear
I’m thinking ‘Hey! Howd’ on a bit
I’m fairly full o’ beer’
But missus was unstoppable
She soon had me upsteer’
Ripped off me corduroy undies
An’ niver’ said her prayers
That wur’ best seein’ too I’ve had
In nigh on twenty year
An’ wot was it that stirred her up?
To make her luv’ and want me!
Instead o’ sittin’ knittin’ socks
She been watchin’ The Full Monty
Now every night I’m down the pub
In blue movies she’s wallowin’
Her knit one pearl two has been forgot
An’ her cry is ‘Are we botherin!’
(c) John G. Sutton 2001