Why Do I Own a Car?

John G Sutton

Now why do I own a motor car?
The question came into my head
As I turned the ignition one morning
And the engine just coughed and went dead

So I opened the hood up for inspection
Thinking I might find a clue
But the computer controlled fuel injection
Baffled me and Einstein too

In despair I called a 'mechanic'
Who arrived with a thingyumybob
That he hooked into the electrics
Then he smiled as he weighed up the job

My temperature-auto-compression
Was misaligned badly and odd
It would cost plenty to fix it
He said as he unscrewed a knob

Having mortgaged my house to buy it
I now had to stump up more dough
Or leave the car and start walking
To work where I needed to go

So I paid a months wage to the monkey
Who told me the car was 'Spot On!'
With a prayer to the Lord God of motors
I hoped that the trouble had gone

The car started up on the first time
My cup really doth overflow
So I drove half a mile to the office
And worked there till midnight or so

To make up for the hours I'd wasted
Stuck when the car wouldn’t drive
I did extra time at the grindstone
Feeling knackered and just half alive

So why do I own a motor?
That thought drives me right round the bend
Perhaps it's to save me the trouble
Of having some money to spend!

(c) John G. Sutton

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